Chapter 11

After Jiang Huaiyang left, I never visited him—not even for his funeral. I continued my life as usual. I threw myself entirely into my studies, and when on break, I spent time with friends. I no longer visited the hospital, nor did I ever mention Jiang Huaiyang’s name. Aunt Jiang and Uncle Jiang moved abroad, only returning briefly around the time of his memorial. They entrusted their house to my parents. Xu Jingchen would sometimes tend to the plants Jiang Huaiyang left behind, but he had little experience, and soon, they withered. My parents were too busy, and eventually, the garden became neglected. Sometimes, when I passed by, I would pause and stare, lost in thought. But I never stepped inside. Time flew by. The summer after my college entrance exams, I was admitted to Peking University as I had wished. The day I received my acceptance letter, I stepped into the Jiang family home for the first time. The yard was long abandoned, and the swing no longer moved as smoothly. I sat on it, listening to its creaking sounds. I heard the rustling leaves in the wind, saw birds returning to their nests, and felt the stillness of this place. In a daze, I saw Jiang Huaiyang again—tending to his plants, drawing, playing on the swing, reading... Memories of him replayed in my mind like an old film. For the first time in over a year, I allowed myself to miss him. Tears slipped through my fingers as I covered my face. And I thought I heard his voice: “Xu Jingyue, happy birthday.” After today, I would be the same age as Jiang Huaiyang. Soon, I would become older than him—his sister, then his aunt, then his grandmother. But he… would always remain young. — I must have had too much to drink. Otherwise, I couldn’t explain these sudden tears. Song Wei hugged me, gently stroking my hair. She said, “Go see him. He’s been waiting for you.” The next day, I visited Jiang Huaiyang’s grave—for the first time. The boy on the tombstone was forever young, while time had only left its marks on me. I placed a bouquet before him and sat down with my back against the tombstone. The place where he was buried was beautiful, surrounded by green mountains and clear waters. It was so quiet here that I could hear the chirping of birds and the wind rustling through the leaves. I spoke softly, “These past years, I’ve lived well. I haven’t thought of you, nor have I remembered you. The only reason I’m here is because people keep saying I’ve been waiting for you. But I’ve thought about it for a long time—I’m not waiting for you.” There was no response. I heard my own voice—calm, without a ripple. Suddenly, my vision blurred with tears. “So much time has passed… I’ve long forgotten you.” A breeze brushed against my cheek. A single tear fell to the ground, disappearing instantly. — On the second day of the National Day holiday, Xu Jingchen got married. During the bouquet toss, I was playing with my little nephew when I heard Xu Jingchen call my name. I looked up to see the bride walking toward me, extending the bouquet with a warm smile. I glanced at Xu Jingchen—he was smiling too. “Sis, take it.” The bride nudged the bouquet toward me, and I accepted it with a smile, receiving their blessing. The emcee asked, “Does the sister have a boyfriend?” I smiled faintly and replied, “I’ve already been married. A long, long time ago.” Hearing this, those who knew me looked at me in confusion. But I ignored them. I lowered my head and inhaled the scent of roses. Taking a deep breath, I gazed at the newlyweds on stage. Yes. I had been married long ago—to the person I loved. — At thirty-four, I quit my job and prepared to travel aimlessly. When my mother found out, she flew to my house, and the moment she saw me, she slapped me across the face. She shouted, “What are you doing? Why is it so hard for you to settle down?” I poured her a glass of water and sat in silence for a long time. Finally, I spoke, revealing the deepest pain in my heart for the first time. “Mom, I’m thirty-four now. But what I miss most… is the time before I turned sixteen.” “These years… have been so hard.” “I’ve always… wanted to see someone.” My mother’s hands trembled. Her face turned pale. I suddenly felt guilty. After a long pause, she asked, “You really… can’t let go?” “…Mom, am I unfilial?” She closed her eyes, as if surrendering to fate. “…I understand.” — I spent the next two years traveling to many places, seeing many sights, taking countless photos, and writing letters. I mixed the photos and letters together, sending them to random addresses across the world. I was walking farther and farther away. — “Dad, will Aunt come home for New Year’s this year? Grandma misses her…” “No, she won’t be back this year.” “Why not? I haven’t seen her in so long.” Xu Jingchen looked up at the sky, a vast expanse of blue. The sunlight stung his eyes, making them water. “Aunt went to find the one she loves.” “Will she ever come back?” “She will. She’ll come home with the one she loves.”